The first time I felt worthless on my knees
Was in church feeling nothing
While everyone was crying out for a higher power to save them
Most recently was in a girls closet
Screaming hallelujah and our hands discovering secrets
Afterwards she spilled her sins to me
Listing our illicit liaison as number one
I crave shelter but refuse to be saved
I despise myself and can’t trust anyone who says they love me
It’s all a trap for me to drag myself down so they can lift themselves up
Swallowing prescription pills for an illusion of pleasure
Emotion is an distant recollection for me
If I let Jesus rescue me from this hell
Would I have been able to discover myself
No, I would still be drawing rainbows over my cuts
Hoping that one day I would be enough
I’m a raging liability who doesn’t know how to love someone
Whose been escaping responsibility since she learned how to run
Survival mode on autopilot
I’m asleep at the wheel
Bringing the poor passengers crashing along with the plane
Being pretty is a foreign concept for me
I’m only as beautiful as the backhanded compliments I receive
From girls I don’t know at strangers’ parties
My therapist claims I’m mature for my age
I feel like I haven’t grown since I entered kindergarten
I was sad even back then
I don’t know if that would ever change
I’ll be the same mistake I am today
To the moment I’m lying beneath a grave
Grace is a 17 year old poet who hopes to one day travel the world. She hopes you have a great day.
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